Too fat for 40 online dating sites
It was only after I spent an evening comforting a friend who had been dumped by a casual boyfriend (he had strung her along pretending he wanted more commitment than he really intended) that it dawned on me that paying to go on a date was a more honest way to conduct a non‑committal relationship.Receiving money or gifts from your date is his way of saying “I like you, I want to spend time with you, I want to sleep with you, but I’m not prepared to meet your family or go to Ikea with you on a weekend”.Even then, the idea of taking cash felt so irksome to both parties that we did it in the form of a monthly loaded store card from Selfridges.He was a hedge-fund manager in the City and physically attractive, but a ski trip to Colorado put me off him for good.I was in my late twenties, a television producer, and fresh out of a suffocating three-year relationship with a man who drained both my time and my finances when I signed up. Instead, I fantasised about someone older, more sophisticated, more established.And, if I’m being honest, someone with some money, too.His financial investment assuages his guilt that he can’t emotionally invest.Given that I didn’t want a committed relationship, it made sense to me.
In return for a no-strings but mutually beneficial relationship, the women who sign up can get to be treated like a lady, showered with gifts, taken on all-you-can-buy shopping sprees, and enjoy meals at the best tables in town.Once I’d convinced myself of the moral justification – I know many will disagree with me – I started to entertain some of the propositions that landed in my inbox.Of course, the fat, balding ones still went into the delete bin, but many were perfectly dateable.He had an obsessive attention to detail and would plan every event to the second.I would have 15 missed calls on my phone if I was so much as five minutes late for our meeting.
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When I joined my first sugar daddy dating website five years ago, it wasn’t to find someone to help pay the bills or provide me with a shopping allowance.